


Green Team Sendoff

by Sharo



Series: HermitCraft Season7 Smut fics [6]
Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Exhibitionism, Frottage, Gay Sex, Green Team orgy, GreenTeam BestTeam, Hand Jobs, I learned a lot about these fuckers as I wrote, Joe absolutely took over this one, M/M, Non-Permanent Character Death, Poly!Hermits, Polyhermits - Freeform, Sex, Stripping, Talk of Toys, Treehouse part two, Voyeurism, all the Hermits are good bros, and Etho's cookies, and not just the orgasmic kind, and now for obligatory tags, and their kinks and likes smacked me in the face, bonus with Keralis!, consensual drugged sex, dangit I think that's a spoiler, does this count as public sex?, except these horny boys would have anyway, flogger, if I missed a good one let me know, return of himboX, sensation mitt, the cookies made them do it?, too many partners to get off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:35:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26833792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharo/pseuds/Sharo
Summary: Nether reset on 20/06/23Green Team farewell party at the Treehouse 21stThe Button is dead. Long live the Button#Green Team Best Team
Relationships: Bdubs/Cubfan/Etho/Scar/Impulse/Joe/Rendog/xBCrafted/Xisuma, Green Team - Relationship, and multiple variations thereof
Series: HermitCraft Season7 Smut fics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856650
Comments: 15
Kudos: 85





	Green Team Sendoff

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated again to the lovely VexTimes, who inspired this particular smut.

They gathered by ones and twos, paying last respects to the mangled remains of the Button as they passed, traveling the colorful paths laid out on the bedrock roof. Laughter and jokes filled the air as they looked forward to an evening of fond reminiscing, and a full group enjoyment of the Green Team Treehouse before it was deleted.

And Etho's special cookies. And Scar's goodie bags, filled now with contributions from many of their members.

Someone had added a couple more warning signs around the Treehouse to warn others off. 

_Green Team GoingAway Party : cover your ears_

_Not responsible for blindness, deafness, or inappropriate shenanigans_

_All other colors KEEP OUT_

The tiny room had been carefully expanded, just enough to hold a table of food and drinks in the corner, along with a barrel of Ren's second attempt at an apple cider. It was young but sweet, his first try written off as vinegar. Two small bump outs held soft couches, barely big enough to hold two Hermits each. If they were _really_ good friends. The dispenser at the front door was stocked full of fresh baked cookies, Green Team members helping themselves as they entered the build.

Scar was standing on the chair nearest the door, a cup of cider in one hand and a green leather bag in the other, holding both high. "Okay, who didn't get a goodie bag? I seem to have an extra here." He grinned at the room at large, a smudge of chocolate in the corner of his beard.

Bdubs tossed another cookie at him. "That's _your_ bag, 'ya ijit. You left ours at our bases, remember? With the invites."

Scar clambered down, trying to open the bag while not spilling his cider. It wasn't going well, his coordination not the best even when not sampling Etho's specials. Joe plucked the cup out of his hand as Scar stuck his nose into the bag, as if he could tell by smell who it belonged to.

It did cause a wave of laughs and giggles around the room. xB was nestled into one of the couches with Rendog sitting sideways across his lap. Ren had one hand inside of xB's shirt while his other was finger combing Impulse's hair, seated on the floor in front of him while he chatted with Etho.

"Don't worry, everyone. It's mine. I've solved the case!" 

He stumbled forward as Bdubs clapped him heartily on the back. "Congrats, man, but the rest of us already knew that." 

Scar windmilled back as Bdubs let him go, nearly clocking Xisuma with his bag as the admin walked in the door. Xisuma ducked back and then caught Scar under the arms, head still leaned back to save the wizard from knocking the painted helmet.

"Oh my goodness, Scar. Please tell me you've saved some cookies for the rest of us." Xisuma's decorated visor was nearly transparent tonight, his eyes bright and mirthful behind it. 

Scar grinned at him, wagging his eyebrows. "Extra for me, 'cause I brought the goodie bags."

Xisuma set him back on his feet, laughing. "Okay, then. But maybe you should sit down somewhere before you fall over."

"Everyone here then?"

Xisuma added a stack of honey bottles to the snack table and accepted a cup of cider from Bdubs. "Everyone but False, she's enjoying girl's night out, says to have fun and toast the Button for her."

"To the greatest social experiment attempted on the nether roof. The Button is dead. Long live the Button."

They raised cups and cookies, cheering their poet. "Long live the Button!"

"And to the mayoral candidate that brought us this lovely Treehouse and a farewell party to be remembered until the end of the season." Joe raised his cup to Scar.

Scar blushed and grinned, raising his cider. "Vote for Scar! Green Team, best team!"

"Huzzah!"

Cups were emptied and refilled, plates of cookies and bottles of honey passed around as everyone made themselves comfortable, relaxing with good friends and tasty treats and consensual touches. Since their first group hangout, the Treehouse had become a little place of trysting and enjoying Etho's brand of relaxation. It was a private joke between them; if someone invited you to the Treehouse, you were in for a pleasurable time of aphrodisiacs and sex. Tonight promised to be no different, and the anticipation hung heavily in the nether air.

Etho watched the floor from a perch in the ceiling, as cookies and cider were consumed and everyone relaxed into easy banter and teasing. He mentally brushed away just a nugget of disappointment that False hadn't been able to make it, but he knew that the gals were fiercely protective of their nights together. Even if they occasionally invited one of the guys over, it was always under Cleo's watchful glare and knowing that _they_ were in charge that night. He allowed himself a smug grin, the memory warming his belly along with another chunk of his special chocolate.

High laughter broke out beneath him and he peered over his seat to look for the source. Bdubs was on the ground, Impulse and Rendog tickling him mercilessly, shirt rucked up and hair wild as it caught against xB's legs. Cub was laughing at something Scar whispered in his ear, and then tossed over another of the green leather bags to land beside Impulse.

"Ooh, am I taking suggestions now?"

Ren laughed, coaxing xB to grab Bdubs' hands and hold him in place. "What's in the bag? Somethin' more for teasing?"

Impulse dumped the bag, ignoring Joe draping himself over his shoulders to peek at the items. 

"A veritable treasure trove of toys, how generous."

Scar giggled into his cider. "I tried to match interests, but got distracted halfway through. And I forgot who's bag got the flogger, so that's around somewhere."

Impulse groaned, forgetting the toys in front of him for a moment. "Please, tell me it's in my bag. Tell me you love me that much."

Cubfan's smile was much darker than Scar's. "Or maybe someone else has it so they can use it on you."

It wasn't a rush so much as an uncoordinated stumble as bags were pulled out and shared, trades and murmurs of appreciation at the diversity of the gifts. Scar was turned in Cub's lap, happily kissing the bearded man as Cub worked off the purple wizard robe, letting it pool at his feet. Ren was distracted from the earlier tickling, moving behind Scar to show his appreciation by pressing up against his back, kneading Scar's shoulders and tangling his fingers with Cub's along Scar's waist.

Joe caught Etho's gaze, crooking a finger at him to join them on the floor. Xisuma was behind Joe, clearing away a shulker box, his decorated armours off and stored along with his boots in the sunken ender chest in the corner.

Etho catwalked across the low beam, dropping down between them and slinging an arm over each of their shoulders for support. Joe smiled fondly and kissed his covered nose, so Etho turned and passed a cloth-covered kiss onto Xisuma's visor. His voice was low, beneath the laughter and teasing behind them. "Dressing down for us already, X?"

Xisuma laughed, bumping him gently with the helmet. "You realize you've already lost your vest, right?"

Joe was folding the stolen vest neatly, setting it beneath the snack table. "My fingers are tingling, is that a known side effect of your cookies, Etho?"

Etho raised a single eyebrow at him. "Maybe you should put them someplace warmer and check their sensitivity." He leaned back against Xisuma, accepting the gloved hands around his waist to hold him up in a casual lean. Joe's eyes darkened at the challenge. 

Which didn't make it far, Bdubs and Rendog rolling into their legs and bringing X and Etho down into their wrestling match.

"It was in my bag, it's mine!"

"I just wanna try it, come on!"

Xisuma laughed as he pulled away, spotting the soft leather flogger that Scar had mentioned and Impulse was practically drooling over. "You both should tongue-wrestle for it, jeez."

Ren didn't hesitate, grabbing Bdubs' cheeks and rolling on top of him, kissing for all he was worth. Bdubs scrambled to catch up, his hands sliding into Ren's shirt, bucking up beneath him.

Etho chuckled, legs spread where he had fallen, watching the kissing match happening between them. "Well that's fucking hot." He palmed himself, before leaning back and flipping to his feet. 

Cubfan caught his hand, pulling him back into the tiny alcove. "Wanted to thank you again for the art show last week." His tanned fingers played with Etho's belt, tugging at the tucked in shirt. 

Etho grinned, slipping a warm packet of chocolate out of his pocket. "Looking for this?"

Black eyes narrowed. "Are you bribing me?"

Etho opened it up, pulling a chunk free and bringing it to Cub's lips before leaning close to his ear. "Whole thing is yours if you can get X's helmet off for an hour."

Teeth gripped his fingers as Cub's tongue wrapped around the bitter chocolate, sucking them clean. "Done. How do you want him?"

Etho ran his thumb over Cub's bottom lip. "Oh, it's not for me. But I'll take a page out of your book and enjoy it all the same."

xB's low laughter rumbled over them. He was relaxing against Impulse, stroking his fingers down the purloined flogger and listening to whatever Impulse was whispering in his ear. 

Bdubs finally tore his mouth free, panting loudly as Ren moved his mouth down to his neck, grinning at his win. "Oh, fuck. Tell me somebody stocked something for lube here." His fingers scrabbled at Ren's shoulders but couldn't shake him from the hickey he was now diligently working against his neck. "I'm gonna pound you into the floor, Ren, just as soo-ah" his threat was drawn into a moan, drawing Rendog closer against him.

Joe dropped a bottle beside them before moving away, a half eaten cookie in his other hand. "Should have checked the other dispenser, it's always good to be prepared."

Xisuma snickered from his seat on the floor in the corner, a bottle of honey sitting beside the stack of cookies he'd been handed. Joe shook a finger at him. "Don't you laugh, mister, you’re one of the worst offenders. I wouldn't be surprised to find you trying to use magma cream if that was all you had on you." There were a couple of chuckles, but Xisuma seemed intrigued by the idea. "Really, X. What's next, slime balls?"

Cub fell out of his seat laughing at Xisuma's mumbled "not as slippery as you'd think."

"Oh, oh, 'Suma. Really?" 

Joe probably would have had more to say, but a pair of polka dotted boxers were tossed over his head, nearly taking his glasses off. "Oh, the places these glasses have seen." 

Somehow it was a signal though, as more and more clothing started being tossed around. Pants and shirts and Cub's kilt and xB's jacket discarded or draped over other Hermits. Ren's sunglasses were plucked off and a quick game of keep-away distracted him from Bdubs tripping him up just to get his pants off. Joe's signature shirt was stolen by Etho and hung from the ceiling, prompting the poet to declare it a new variety of mistletoe and claim a kiss from anyone who passed beneath it. Still laughing, Etho let Joe push him against the wall, strong hands cupping his face as Joe pressed teasing kisses against his mask, deliberately missing his mouth most of the time.

Impulse shimmied out of his own shirt, pants already open as xB ran the tails of the flogger across his bared skin. 

Scar crawled over to where Xisuma sat, still in his purple shirt and one pink slipper. "I'm out of cookies, X. Willing to share?" He ran a hand down the yellow helmet, giggling when the access hatch flipped open and closed as his fingers passed over when his mouth would be. 

"I have a couple left." Xisuma's voice was low and teasing. "But it might cost you."

"Ooh. I hope it'll cost me kisses, I love paying in kisses." He leaned up to head bump the visor, his eyes crossing as he peered inside. "But I can pay in other ways, too."

He was close enough to watch Xisuma's pupils contract and expand, and feel the helmet bob as he swallowed. Xisuma's arm flexed and Scar leaned back just enough for another cookie to be presented to him. He half closed his eyes, and opened his mouth for the treat.

A gloved thumb brushed his lips, and then gentle fingers were pressing a chunk of cookie against his tongue. Scar licked out with his tongue to catch the cookie, dragging his teeth over the covered fingers and tugging lightly at the glove before releasing and making a show of letting the cookie dissolve, swallowing lightly.

Someone warm pressed up behind him, but Scar was too distracted, knowing Xisuma's eyes were on his mouth as he swallowed, Xisuma's fingers pulling back only long enough for another chunk of cookie to be offered. Hands slipped over his back, tracing his spine as he nibbled at the sweet, letting his lips linger against soft gloves.

Cub's voice was a low purr behind him. "Come on, X. Last night in the treehouse. What's your pleasure?"

"Hmm." His empty fingers traced over Scar's cheek, brushing through the fake beard. "It's a good night for a little bit of everything."

Cubs drew Scar back against his chest, holding him with one hand against his shoulders and splaying the other across his abdomen, drawing the thin purple shirt up and displaying Scar's erection. "How would you like him?"

Scar moaned happily as Xisuma offered the rest of the cookie, answering Cub.

"Stretch him for me."

There was a bark of laughter behind them and someone dropped a bottle beside Cub's hand. The space warmed as Bdubs propped himself up beside Xisuma, Ren following him, bumping Scar's leg as he dropped his head into Bdubs' lap. Cub followed the command, fingers slick as he reached between Scar's legs, teasing touches spreading beneath Scar's balls as he relaxed against him. Ren mouthed at the cock in front of him, humming as Bdubs sank his fingers into Ren's hair, tugging in appreciation. 

Scar let his head roll back against Cub's shoulder as his fingers pressed in, flushed from the attention and enjoying the haze that was settling over everything. He let himself be distracted from Cub's work by watching Etho, head pressed against the wall as Joe held him in place, one hand on his ribs, Joe's face pressed against his neck. He couldn't make out exactly what was said, but Joe always had a soothing voice as he spoke the filthiest words, knowing it must have been perfect as Joe wrung an almost silent orgasm from the still-masked Etho, shoulders flexing as he took the ninja's weight for a moment.

Another hand slid over Scar's knee and he looked back to catch Ren nudging his leg down. Ren's mouth was full of Bdubs' cock now, tilted just enough so that he could watch Cub's hand as he added another finger. Xisuma was rubbing the knuckles of his near hand against Bdubs' lower back, his other stroking slowly along his own erection as he also watched Cub.

The room was filled with pleasurable sounds as Scar let himself drift on the feeling of eyes and hands on him, someone reaching out to caress and flick a nipple, shirt rucked up now to under his armpits. He squirmed against Cub's hold, sliding back just enough to feel Cub's erection pressed against his back, reaching behind him for one of the discarded leather bags. 

Joe pulled it from his fingertips as Cub added another finger, making him twitch and sigh into the stretch. 

"Hmm, I think I can find a use for this."

Scar wasn't given the chance to be disappointed. Cub was sliding back, knees under his shoulders now as Bdubs and Joe lifted his legs, giving Xisuma room to move forward between them, pants discarded into the growing clothes monster. Scar giggled at the thought and brought his hands up to Xisuma's shoulders as he tilted his hips invitingly. Xisuma pressed against his empty entrance, arms braced on either side of Cub's knees.

"Come on, Beesuma. Make it amayzin'."

Cub held him in place as Xisuma sank into him, Scar having no leverage to control the pace. Bdubs offered a free hand, gripping tightly as Ren buried his face against Bdubs and swallowed around his first orgasm of the night. Xisuma's low chuckle made him shiver, feeling every inch of the warm cock filling him. He wanted more, needed the touch to ground him as X rocked back, the slide making him groan happily.

A gloved hand ran across his arm, and Joe was kneeling on the other side. The bright blue mitt was covered in soft wool, the contrast against his skin raising goosebumps. 

Scar twisted towards it, dropping his other arm into Joe's lap as Xisuma pressed forward again. "Yes, like that," he encouraged, Joe grasping at his wrist. "Wanna feel it all ov'r." 

"Oh, you are _gone_ ." It was hard to focus on words, when there was the soft touch of wool on his arm and warm friction right _there_ , and fingers against his scalp. And all he could do was hold on and _feel_ , as Xisuma sped up and Joe gripped his other hand, letting the heat and pleasure build until that soft wool wrapped around his _cock_ and he was whining, arching against Cub's thighs and into Xisuma's thrusts, clenching as it felt like he was hit by lightning. Which wouldn't be the first time, but it was the first time like _this_ , and then he was laughing through his orgasm, breathless as Xisuma stilled against him, trapping Joe's hand between them as the world whited out..

“Scar?”

He could barely get his arm to follow the movement his mind wanted. It took two tries but he finally managed to pat the yellow helmet. “Lightning. ‘S wunnerful.”

“Oh, Scar.” 

He tried not to whine as Xisuma moved back, but Bdubs and Ren pulled him sideways and into their warm embrace, relaxing into their petting touches.

Cub smirked as Joe peeled off the soiled glove, setting it aside in the corner. “Well a bit of a mess is always a fun start, right?”

Xisuma sat back on his heels, watching Scar cuddle between Rendog and Bdubs. "Hmm." 

Joe stood and offered up another round of cookies, holding them just out of reach as he stepped carefully backwards. "How about we move away from the corner, and back where there is a little more room to play?"

Hands caught his waist and soft cloth covered lips pressed into the junction of his neck and shoulder. 

"Are you baiting Hermits with _my_ cookies?"

Joe grinned at Cub and Xisuma even as he leaned back into Etho. “Not sorry. Didn’t I already show my appreciation to the chef?” He rolled his hips back, smile turning sharp at Etho’s quick intake of breath. “Are you asking for something more?”

“I-” 

Joe managed to turn in his arms, the cookies held behind him now. “I? Come on, Etho, use your words. What would you like?” Someone relieved him of the cookies, freeing his hands to push Etho, guiding him backwards. "Are you jealous, dear? That everyone else is on the floor already, with someone else's hands on them?" Joe slid one hand to Etho's back, beneath his shirt, stopping him in the center of the room. "Do you want that touch, driving all of the thoughts out of your mind, lost in sensation until it overwhelms and consumes you?" Etho's pupils were blown wide, hanging on his words and _groaning_. Joe smirked as xB slid back far enough to tug at Etho's open pants, pulling them down towards his ankles as Etho leaned forward.

Joe moved his head to the side, letting Etho's intended kiss fall to his shoulder instead. "I think you should save those for something else." People were gathering around them, drawn in and stretching out towards his voice and the noises Etho was making. "On your knees then, let them touch you for a bit."

Etho sank down, xB and Cub at his back, Bdubs and Ren moving forward as Joe took a step out of the way. They stripped Etho slowly, trailing kisses and hands across his body as Etho panted towards the ceiling. Joe encouraged them all, directing them with praises and suggestions as Impulse opened another bottle, pouring lube across his fingers and settling between Etho and Cub. 

"There we go, relax into it. Bdubs has one of those warming crystals, right?" Joe offered a nod at Bdubs' eager grin, encouraging him to move closer. Dark hands ran the red crystal over Etho's chest, pressing forward with him as Etho sank back, xB supporting his shoulders as Impulse reached beneath him with slippery fingers. Another step back and Joe was pressed against someone else, a thin shirt against his back as gloves wrapped around his stomach.

Etho's moans were a delicious low melody as Joe tilted his head against a cool helmet. "You should get in there too, enjoy the touch of warmth and friendship, bound together by a button and dark chocolate.”

Xisuma laughed, resting the chin of his helmet on Joe’s shoulder, taking some of Joe’s weight as he leaned back. “You always have such a unique way with words.”

Joe hummed appreciatively as one of Xisuma’s hands sank lower, brushing over his lower belly and towards his hanging cock. “I love words as much as I love my friends, and to bring them both together lets my love overflow." He raised his voice a little, to be heard over the others. "Just like that, Impulse, see if you can reach a little deeper. Ren, you can reach him from there, yes? Oh, even better," he praised, as Ren ran his tongue across Etho's abs, tracing the same path that Bdubs had made with the crystal. "Very well done. You're all taking _such_ good care of him."

Xisuma had his hand wrapped around him now, stroking with a strong grip, his gloves smooth against his hardness. "Green Team orgy, directed by Joe." His laughter warmed Joe as much as his handjob. "I hope we can keep up." His palm slid over the head of Joe's cock, fingers twisting to support and trace the vein before resuming his firm strokes.

"I'll have a poetry night yet after this." Joe promised, and wrapped his own fingers around Xisuma's, slowing him down into more leisurely strokes. "You're always in such a hurry, Isuma. Not everything has to happen at once." He kept hold of his hand when it would have drawn away. "I'd rather savor the moment, if you would be so kind."

He smiled at X's little huff, returning his gaze to the pile in front of them. Etho had been settled onto xB's lap, Cub sitting back against a pile of clothing within touching distance. Ren had the crystal now, following Scar's low suggestions and running it over and between Etho and Bdubs, who was kneeling between Etho's legs and sucking him down, wiggling happily whenever Scar's magical crystal was dragged down his spine. Impulse had tugged down the cloth mask, one hand cupped against Etho's cheek as he kept his mouth occupied.

Joe pressed a sideways kiss against Xisuma's helmet. "Wouldn't you like to be the center of attention like that?"

Xisuma didn't answer, helmet still facing forward towards the pile. Etho came with a shuddering groan, arched back and held by several hands, supporting and caressing him as xB followed, scruffing his short beard against Etho’s shoulder. Scar had a pink crystal in hand as Etho was tilted forward, quickly oversensitive and twitching with their touches. The love crystal was tucked against him as he curled up on someone's sweater, Cubfan watching over him as Impulse kissed xB.

Xisuma's voice was low, just for him to hear. "I set my spawn at Keralis' place. He knows about tonight, and will watch for me. If I-" he broke off a moment, and Joe could feel the heat of the blush through X's thin shirt. "Would you let everyone know it's okay, if I can't?"

Joe let his head lean back, fully resting on Xisuma's shoulder, focusing to not come on the spot. "Absolutely. Anything I can do to facilitate your enjoyment of this fine ev-evening." He stuttered as Xisuma tightened his grip, his other hand holding him close, holding him up as he let his admin jerk him off, stance firm and supporting when his legs buckled for a moment as he caught his breath. Joe would have thanked him, but the sight of Xisuma's glove being lifted to his helmet completely distracted him, drops of milky come still dripping as they disappeared inside of the yellow helmet.

Cubfan curled forward at the sight, trying and nearly failing to stop himself from coming. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and savoring the look on Joe's face as Xisuma licked his fingers. There was something almost forbiddingly arousing to watch those fingers disappear into the helmet...

Impulse sat down beside him, hand warm on Cub’s thigh. "You uh, need some help with that?” He licked his kiss-swollen lips, eyeing Cub’s cock. “Or uh, maybe give me a hand with _this_?" He gave a little wave with the recovered flogger.

Cub nodded, letting his grin grow. "Thought you had talked xB into using it?”

Impulse practically snuggled against his side. "Says he’d need some practice first. I'd really love it to be used while I fucked someone. Just enough for a little extra warmth?"

"I think we can manage that." He kept one arm around Impulse and fished around in the pile of clothes for the pair of dark blue cargo pants. The wrapped half-bar of homemade chocolate was still firm as Cub pulled it free of the side pocket.

Etho rolled over at the crinkle, catching his wrist. His eyes were barely open, but he was smirking. "You didn't earn that, yet."

Cub didn't get a chance to reply before a gloved hand plucked the item away.

"Ah, holding out on us? That's not very sporting." Xisuma unwrapped the top, breaking off of a good-sized chunk before Etho had scrambled to his feet and snatched the rest away.

"That's-" Dark eyes narrowed as the chocolate also disappeared inside the helmet.

"Mm. Bitter, but nothing a little honey couldn't sweeten."

"Zuma…"

Xisuma shivered a moment, throat working beneath the latches of his helmet as he swallowed. He rested a hand at Etho's hip, kneading lightly with his fingertips. "I believe it's still early, shall we get on with the festivities?" Smiling eyes peered through the tinted visor. "Some of us are still wearing much too much clothing."

Rendog scoffed, pawing at the hem of Xisuma’s shirt. “And who’s fault is that, my man?” He knelt at Xisuma’s hip, sliding his hands up beneath the shirt, slowly bringing it upwards until he could tug it over X’s helmet. “No reason to be shy here, hm?”

Impulse leaned back, giggling as he tried to remove xB’s socks with his own toes. “This is now a sock-free zone, guys.”

Cub tilted his chin at X, the flogger forgotten beside him as he fingered his own crop top and heavy jewelry. “You gonna come and strip us all?” His grin was a challenge.

Until someone’s arms were under his and lifting him bodily, neatly depositing him onto his feet in front of Xisuma. Bdubs chuckled, keeping hold of his arms. “Or we do it this way. More fun for the rest of us.”

Xisuma ran a clean glove over the warm gold around Cub’s neck. “I believe we’ve been here before, Pharoah Cub.” He lifted the green gem, holding it almost reverently for a moment. “Though this time, I won't hold back."

His gloves came off, one digit at a time, each laid over Cub's shoulders until his bare fingers were against Cub's stomach, drawing the white crop top up and over his head. Bdubs adjusted his grip on Cub's arms as he moved, but Cub wasn't struggling. He kept his gaze on Xisuma's visor, watching his eyes glaze with lust, roaming over the skin he'd revealed. The necklaces were lifted one at a time, fingers drifting feather-light over his skin before they were pooled to the side.

And then Xisuma was reaching for his own neck, flipping latches and ducking out of it, leaving Joe to lift it away behind him.

Those reflective violet eyes met Cub's, and the intensity of his smoulder felt like it would incinerate him. Xisuma leaned forward, drawing him in, and then darting away to kiss the center of his sternum, where the weight of the green gem had lain.

Cub groaned, feeling Bdubs flex against his back as he held him upright, Xisuma teasing him with hard kisses and the brush of teeth against his chest. Xisuma's hands were just short of rough against his sides, pulling and pushing and holding him exactly where his admin wanted him as he kissed down Cub's stomach, nipping at soft flesh and sliding his tongue along firmer muscle. Until he reached the crease of Cub's hip, and followed it inwards until his nose was buried alongside Cub's weeping erection.

" _Fuck,_ X." He tried to curl forward again, but Bdubs was holding him back, someone else on his other side gripping his shoulders. He couldn't look away to check, not with Xisuma's hazy glowing eyes looking up through his lashes, watching Cub watch him as he mouthed up the underside of his cock. Strong hands wrapped around his thighs, pulling him closer, framing Xisuma's chest as he knelt between them.

Xisuma didn't hesitate, didn't play or tease him. His lips stretched over the head of his cock, watching Cub's face as he sank all the way forward, swallowing him completely.

He didn’t stand a chance, not under that onslaught. Xisuma hummed and swallowed around him and he spilled down his throat, trying his damnedest to keep his eyes open, watching that violet darken even further, shifting minutely as he kept swallowing. Until Cubfan couldn't hold his own weight any longer, legs turning to slime and trusting the others not to drop him as he stopped trying. 

He was lowered to the floor, and then Impulse was leaning over his shoulder, panting into Xisuma's open mouth as his erection rubbed hot against Cub's side. Xisuma pulled Impulse forward and to the side, twisting to lay the brunette over his lap, folding over to keep their mouths together even as his hand dropped unerringly to Impulse's cock. Someone swore creatively behind him, and then Etho sidled up to Cub, pressing the rest of the chocolate into his hand.

"Think you earned that." Like Cub, his gaze was glued on Xisuma, watching his arm and shoulders flex as he wrung an orgasm from Impulse, seemingly oblivious of the other hands and bodies surrounding them. 

Cub swallowed heavily, still trying to catch his breath back. "Don't know about that, but I'll take it. Holy fuck that's hot." Impulse still boneless across his lap, Xisuma leaned back sideways and twisted into xB, letting the broader man support his back as he wrapped his arms around xBCrafted's neck. Heedless of the short beard his kiss was just as hot and heavy as when he'd started, as if the chocolate had gone straight to every part of him and needed to be burned out. Cub broke off another piece of chocolate, then broke it again and offered half to Etho without looking. "You ever run into X at his derp counter? During your nHo days?"

"Nope." Etho popped the "p" sound, and settled the chocolate inside of his cheek to melt. "But if it was half as good as this, I'm fucking jealous."

Cub nodded towards their admin, now leaning back against Bdubs with xB in his lap, back pressed against Xisuma's stomach as X jerked him off, forehead pressed against xB's shoulder and hips shifting restlessly. "That's it, right there. You want somethin', he'll give it to you, no question. 'Course, he'll take anything you give 'im, too."

Rendog practically dived forward as soon as xB poured himself out of Xisuma's lap. Sunglasses long gone, Ren wrapped his arms around Xisuma's waist, pulling him forward as he rolled back, coming up against Scar's knees. Scar caught at X's shoulders and claimed his own kisses as Ren wiggled happily underneath Xisuma, trying to keep his grip as he tried to give X a blowjob. But Scar was pulling Xisuma too far forward, even as Bdubs leaned against his back, and then there was a pile of rolling limbs and barked complaints as Hermits were disturbed or distracted.

"Hey, now!"

Joe's voice rang out, halting everyone for a brief moment. His hair flopped over an eye as he went from stern to supportive, hands stretching out to the nearest Hermits as movement resumed, the mood not yet broken. "I'm sure that everyone can share-"

Xisuma had landed on his back, head and shoulders pillowed on xB's stomach, arching into the fingers tangled in his hair and skritching his scalp. Bdubs and Ren spent a moment arguing over who would blow X next before getting distracted by wrestling over it. Xisuma's chest heaved as they rolled away, twisting into xB's hands and lifting up to kiss at his chest and neck.

xB was laughing, hands cupping Xisuma's face and pushing him lightly back. "Gimme a min, man. I'm still recovering."

Scar tugged at a free hand, trying to get X's attention. Xisuma turned to him with a low whine and _pounced_ , pushing them both back to the floor, body tense above the wizard. Scar gave a little meep and surrendered to Xisuma's frantic kisses, hands clenching at the loose clothing beside them.

Etho tapped Cub's knee. "I do believe we're needed. You good?" Cub's grin was answer enough, chocolate stored safely away. Joe waved them forward, trying to soothe Xisuma with gentle words, hands ghosting over his shoulder as Scar came apart again beneath him. 

Etho reached for Xisuma, relaxing into the feel of the heady aphrodisiac hitting him again, catching X's hands as he rolled them, pressing back just as hard as Xisuma pressed into him. He had just enough sense left to tug Xisuma's hands towards Joe and then tucked his face into the side of Xisuma's neck, nosing at his ear, down across the corded muscle of his neck until he reached his shoulder. Etho braced one hand beneath him, running his other down Xisuma's side until he reached the iron cock between them. 

Xisuma came almost immediately, splashing hot come against their stomachs, still firm and heavy in Etho's grip as he panted through his release. But instead of relaxing, it seemed to key him up even more. Xisuma grabbed at anyone near him, in constant movement as he pulled and pressed and reached out.

Joe settled on his heels beside Xisuma’s head, hanging a bottle of water over them. “Hydration break?” He smiled as Xisuma moaned lightly, simply tilting his head back for it. Etho leaned back, accepting a bottle himself as Joe unstoppered a bottle, pouring little mouthfuls until Xisuma was sitting up against his elbows, suckling at the mouth of it as Joe tipped it back. Joe rewarded him with a kiss when it was finished, humming delightedly when Xisuma pulled him into a messier kiss, eyes clearer than they were minutes ago. 

Xisuma wrapped his arms around Joe’s neck and let his head hang back. “Can you- I need…” he rolled against Etho, restless again. 

Joe ran his hand down Xisuma’s chest, tangling his fingers with Etho’s as he reached his belly. “What do you need, X?”

He pressed against their hands, rolling back again and moaning as they followed his movement. “ _Everything_ .” He let go of Joe, head falling into Ren’s lap. “Everyone. Overwhelm me.” His eyes slipped closed as he spread his arms wide to the room. “ _Please._ ”

Joe nodded, fingertips skimming over his skin. “So demanding today. Very nice, very sexy.” Xisuma smiled at the praise, wriggling against his light touches. “All right, anyone up for another round, let’s get a little depth here to work from.” He moved a little bit away, finding a clear space to set down a couple of wood slabs, brushing them clean of any dirt or splinters. 

A warm body pressed up behind him, arms framing him against the table and a stiff erection rubbed into his hip. “Hmm, and what are you expecting to do with that, pray tell?” Joe tugged one arm forward as he lifted the other, easily spinning Xisuma into a seated position against the wood. Ren clambered over the other side, hands reaching out for Xisuma's sides as he ran wet kisses across his back and shoulders. Joe pulled Bdubs forward, letting him take his place in front of X, pressing him back into Ren as Xisuma tilted his face up for more kisses. Someone tossed a leather bag up onto the slabs, a glass dildo and several bottles rolling out onto the wood. Bdubs moaned into X's mouth, grinding forward as Xisuma's hands cupped his ass, lifting him onto his lap. Ren laughed as Bdubs started panting, rolling his hips forward against X's stomach, losing coordination at the teasing friction between them. Until Rendog snuck an arm between them, pressed close to Xisuma's back to grab their cocks together in a tight hold, grinning as he watched them over Xisuma's shoulder. Impulse grabbed one of the bottles and slicked his fingers again, sliding one deep into Bdubs as he bucked into Ren's grip. 

Bdubs came with a shout, fingers digging into X's side as Impulse finger fucked him through it, Xisuma's forehead tucked against his chest, hips still thrusting until Ren lost his grip. 

"More, come on.." Xisuma's pants were quiet between them, Bdubs flopping forward to kiss Ren for the assist. Impulse pulled his hand free, helping Bdubs roll off and to the side when he tried to move away. Xisuma whined at the loss of contact, latching onto Impulse's arm.

"Lay back, X. I got'cha next." Impulse grinned at the eager nod, Xisuma falling back against Ren as he backed up until Xisuma was stretched out on the planks, knees hanging over the edge, spreading wider in invitation as Impulse ran slick fingers over his still-hard cock, dragging down to circle around his balls and press against his hole. “Guess I’ve got the magic fingers tonight.”

Ren stood to move back further, but Xisuma didn't let him get far. "C'me here, right here." Xisuma let his head tip down over the edge to look at him upside down, arms reaching over his head to grab at Ren's hips.

Ren looked stunned, moving hesitantly towards him. "Are you-"

His hands flew to the slab's edge, barely staying upright. The moment he was back in range Xisuma caught him, pulling him close and swallowing him to the root. Impulse swore, three fingers already inside as Ren helplessly rocked against his eager mouth. Joe laughed as Impulse grabbed at Xisuma's hip, trying to keep him from being pushed back off the table.

"Here, this may be an adequate substitute for extra hands." And he placed an oak fence gate between them, helpfully flicking the door open, Xisuma's knees trapped on either side.

Etho thought he was going to be sick laughing. Joe gave him a wounded look, but whatever he tried to say was covered by Ren's moan, Xisuma using the fence gate as leverage, and dropped his head further. Impulse returned to stretching him out, practically drooling at the way Xisuma arched and twisted on the table between them.

Ren's hands moved from the table to Xisuma's shoulders, flexing against the muscles as Xisuma urged him even closer with insistent noises and hands against his ass. Joe sat to the side, running the heel of his palm over Xisuma's chest, pausing occasionally to tweak a nipple here and there. Ren's thrusts turned shallow, head tossed back as he whined, Xisuma's throat working around him as he spilled, refusing to relinquish his hold. Scar and xB had to pull X's hands away so that Ren could collapse against the wall.

Cub rotated his wrist, swinging the light leather flogger a couple of times to get the feel for it. The dozen or so tails were short and wide, with a nice balance to the handle. He watched Impulse line himself up, pressing into the stretched hole in front of him with a hiss, breathing in time with the sound of the flogger tails behind him as Cub let them fall from his hand into empty space. Impulse held himself still once he had sunk in fully, taking several deep breaths to control himself. Cub stepped forward with a hand on his hip, trailing the leather along the globes of his ass.

“Just your back, or lower?”

Impulse groaned as Xisuma clenched around him, still wiggling against the table and fence gate. “Yes, just, just go. I’ll stop you if I need-”

xB was back at Xisuma's head, kissing along his forehead and sliding a thumb along Xisuma's mouth as Cub let the first strike fall. The gentle thud fell just above Impulse's glutes, drawing an immediate moan from him and a shakier cry from X. There was music in the sound, the draw and fall of the leather, the moans and whines of flesh pressing and slapping together, and the soft thuds of the tails landing in exactly the same spot, every time Impulse buried himself forward. Etho drummed a slow beat on the planks, keeping time as xB held Xisuma's shoulders in place, as Scar and Ren kissed sloppily along Xisuma's chest, as Impulse moaned louder with every fall of the tails. Joe was humming, words too low to understand but somehow still filthy and encouraging as the tempo sped up. Ren and Scar bumped heads over a nipple and then they were openmouthed kissing, xB watching and panting as Xisuma tilted his head back to nibble his own mark on xB's abdomen. Impulse came with a shout, Cub letting one more hit fall before dropping the flogger and stepping forward, one hand pressed against the hot red mark and the other reaching around, squeezing Xisuma's cock and sending him over the edge while Impulse still shook inside him. 

Joe eased Impulse back, leaning him back into Cub as he took Impulse's position, sliding his fingers through Xisuma's slick and pressing his fingers into Xisuma. "So lovely, all of you." He smiled at Xisuma's pants of 'more, more' and nodded to xB, who stood on shaky legs to give X access to his renewed erection. "Bdubs, support Mr Crafted, would you be so kind? There we go." He kept two fingers inside of Xisuma, sliding himself in slowly alongside them, trying to keep his train of thought as Xisuma clenched around him, still moaning around his full mouth. "Such a beautiful sound, 'Suma. A melody of pleasure that fills our-"

Etho's fingers cupped Joe’s face, turning and claiming his mouth, halting his words as he settled into the body laid out before him. Joe closed his eyes, feeling the room spin as Etho's chocolate kisses sank into his soul and made his body hum. A hand at his back pressed along his spine, an extra layer of support as he drew back, pressing down with the pads of his fingers as Xisuma moaned again, changing in pitch as Joe pushed forward. Etho was seated on the planks, lounging against the fence gate as he kept Joe distracted with kisses, his other hand slipping across Xisuma's stomach, drawing out patterns and swirls until he reached Xisuma's cock and started pulling in counterpoint with Joe. Xisuma's chest heaved with another orgasm, dribbling on Etho's fingers and grabbing at xB's hips, fingers scrabbling for purchase as he urged xB faster and deeper into him. His back arched on the table when Joe twisted his fingers and made him come again, no breath in his lungs as his throat clenched tight, the outline of xB's cock pulsing as he groaned and came. Joe tore his mouth away from Etho, panting himself now as he tried to stave off his own release. Xisuma was shaking, wheezing and whining as xB pulled out and away with a curse, barely escaping Xisuma's grip.

Joe reached his free hand out along Xisuma's side, tangling their fingers together as X latched onto him. "How close-?" He could barely get the words out, his lips swollen from Etho's kisses. Etho twisted his wrist between them, drawing X into another bow across the table with a high whine. Joe found himself snapping his hips now, Xisuma shaking with him but still clenching his fingers tightly as he tried to push back against him. Someone swore softly behind him, Joe not catching the voice before it was shushed. He felt his own orgasm building again, a firey numbness pooling in his gut as he slid his other hand free, batting Etho away. "Alright, 'Suma. One more, I know you have it." His still slick fingers gripped the cock in front of him, pulling his fist back as he pumped forward, pinning X's hand to the planks for more leverage. "So good for us, 'Suma. Taking your fill and sharing so sweetly." Someone broke the fence gate between them, and Xisuma's thighs caught his hips, rolling into his motion as he slammed forward again.

Joe groaned at the ceiling as he came, his voice leading a chorus of moans and swears that filled their space, filled their hearts and his fist with orgasmic sound as the fog rolled in around them.

Etho caught Joe as he fell forward, their poet as limp and blissed out as their admin. Finally. Cub and Scar pulled them all into the tired and thoroughly fucked pile of Hermits, limbs rearranged as someone passed around a couple of damp wool for cleaning. Joe roused enough to catch at Cub's hand as he lifted Xisuma's head into his lap, Etho with an ear to Xisuma's chest as his wheezing subsided into slow, shallow breaths.

Joe's dark eyes were calm, a satisfied smile at his lips. "He knows, it was planned."

Cubfan blinked at him. "He- wow." His worry didn't go away but it eased, and he pressed a kiss to Xisuma's forehead. Etho made a space for himself between Joe and X, pressing his back against Joe's chest, head tucked into his arm as they settled and watched Xisuma's breaths slow until they weren't visible at all.

When he disappeared he left behind only a bottle of honey and a couple orbs of xp. Cub turned to the clubhouse door, nodding once before laying down himself and closing his eyes. "His bee-helmet was on top of the chest, it's gone now."

Joe hummed contentedly, rubbing a hand gently into Etho's chest as they came down from their high. "That's good. Keralis will take care of him now."

Cub leaned forward enough to give Joe a light kiss as well. "Thank you, for taking care of all of us tonight."

When he settled back against Scar it was with a smile of his own, tired and pleased with the evening's entertainments. Joe's exhausted mumble made him chuckle before he fell asleep, wrapped in the warm press of sated bodies.

"Green Team, Best Team. G'night, y'all."

  
  


*****

Bonus:

The message came through chat late in the evening. Keralis smiled fondly and stored his book, shooting off a quick message to soothe anyone still awake that it was taken care of. Another tick and he gathered up the waiting cups of tea and hurried to the tucked away room in his tower.

Xisuma was curled to his side on the double bed, rubbing at his chest. Keralis kept his voice quiet and soothing, glad he had already dimmed the lights. "My Shashwamy! Did you have a good time?" 

“Mmm.” His voice was low and thick, already fumbling at the latches to his armour. “As Scar would say, ‘it was amayzin’.”

Keralis chuckled and helped him set the armour aside before crawling into the bed with him. “I’m sorry you couldn’t spend the night with them, but that just means I get to take care of you in the aftermath.” He kissed the top of the helmet before he helped Xisuma out of that as well, setting it at the end of the bed. “I am a very selfish man, and will never turn down the opportunity to spoil you.”

Xisuma was happy to turn his face into Keralis’ kisses, moving slowly and taking deep breaths in the thin air of the prepared chunk. “Thank you, Keralis. Though I’m afraid I’ve been overly spoiled by everyone this season already.”

“Nonsense. Is nothing you don’t deserve.” Keralis pulled him gently against him, propped up at the headboard. “I made nighttime tea, and little steak sandwich bites if you need something to eat. More than cookies and Etho’s chocolate, Shashwamy.” he scolded, teasing.

Xisuma managed the tea and two sandwiches before he was falling asleep on Keralis’ shoulder. “Okay, midnight snacks are over. Time for sleeping, yes?” Keralis moved their empty cups to the side table, laughing when Xisuma let himself flop sideways, arms outstretched towards him.

“Cuddles ‘n sleep?”

“Dear Shashwamy, how could I ever say no to that beautiful face?” Keralis pulled up the blankets, gathering Xisuma to his chest and letting him wiggle until Xisuma was draped half-over him, head over his heart and legs twined together. 

“Thank you,” Xisuma breathed, asleep almost as soon as he’d said it.

Keralis smiled, rubbing his fingertips across the loose relaxed shoulders of his best friend. “Any time, Xisuma. Good night.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, def gotta write for the girls next. ^__^
> 
> As always, comments and crit welcome, and feel free to play with the idea!


End file.
